the very first post on january 2017

Hello~ it’s already near to the end of January and here it is my very first post on 2017. 

Actually I’ve desire to share my current feeling  on my blog post since a long ago, something that related to work and also my –still don’t have progress- life status. Kkk~ and just manage to do it right now.

It feel like I need a space to express all of the feeling since it keep lingering  and draw a gloomy cloud over my heart. A very mix feeling but dominated with depressed and full of stress, yes I live a hard life.

My day at office start to getting more intense and full with pressure, I need to submit the report  as the dateline, My boss will only give his best command and BOOM! Everything must finish on time. oh yes  please mention My coworker who has the same responsibility as me, she hasn’t much helping. She keep telling me she has the same hard day as me when I can clearly  watch her calling a family member and gossiping over the phone for at least 30 minutes. I don’t know if gossiping were an office duty, but what can junior like me do? Not single a thing. Sometimes I tell her how the report killing me softly ‘yes I know that exactly since I have as same as you’ that what she said, oh please let me laugh ‘till I broke my lungs.

 The peak of my stress is happen last week, I barely  can control my tears. I often caught my self crying in silent and I can’t stop my tears flood a river. Lucky me no one at the office seems realize it. It will be another problem if anyone watching me cry. I hope that is enough to describe how stress I am during that period. I do tell what I’ve feel to my friends, people says sharing your problem will ease it a little. My friend listen to all of my story and give me some advice, but you know when you feel so stressed it not much help. but I thanks all my friend a whole heartedly for being there when I was on my worst. 

At the time like this I feel like I need someone beside me, someone who will listen and comfort me. Someone that will give me a warm heart, a comfort shoulder to lying on. Unfortunate me I hasn’t find the one yet, I hope soon please Ya Allah grant my du’a for this one. 

Now I am trying hard to conduct my mood little by little, I will not let the stress and depress control my life I need to get back to the way I life before. I had enough of it, I wouldn’t be stress over the matter of work anymore. I need to manage my mood and my happiness well~ a very very well.  I’ll let it be what should it be, Life still need to live on.

I born to be happy! My life is more important than those F@#k dateline. I will not ever again shade my tears over this matter.

PS. I Still looking for shoulder to lying on kkk~

Thanks for reading ~